"Don't Psychoanalyze Me"

I thought it may be a good time to start a blog about what my career hopes and aspirations are (some philosophizing too), especially since I just blogged about Marriage, and I'm currently in a graduate program that focuses on Marital Therapy, as well as other facets of counseling.

I also thought it would be a good opportunity for everyone, including my family, to have a better idea of why I was drawn to such an interesting and sometimes controversial field. If I have to blame it on someone, I guess I could nail it to my senior Psychology teacher Mr. Pickering. While taking his class as a senior in high school, he really opened up the world of psychology to me, its many different facets and points of interest; from the conditioning of Pavlov to Erikson and Maslow and their growth and hierarchy models. Needless to say I was intrigued, especially by his own experience as a counselor and then as a teacher. Thus, when I was accepted to Chico State, it was easy for me to declare my major as psychology, a far cry from my prior aspirations as a pediatric cadiologist. Little did I know at the time that Chico State has one of the best psychology programs in the Cal-State system and one of the best graduate programs in psychology in the state. As I progressed in my school career, I began to think more and more about enterting the helping profession as a counselor. Drawing from my own family's previous experience with a counselor, and my own issues as a troubled teen, I began to see how important it is for people to be able to talk to someone who can be honest and forthright with them about their feelings, and also provide them with a place where they don't have to fear judgment or retribution from another human being. This desire led me to the graduate program, which I am now fairly close to completing.

I think it takes a rare talent to be empathetic to someone and to genuinely listen to what they're saying, but to also be able to hear what they're meta-message, or underlying feeling is. For instance, what is really behind that anger? Is it hurt? Is it fear? I think being able to help someone identify those issues, so that they can be right in their own hearts takes talent, practice and a genuine desire to help people who are lost and are ready to help themselves. I think therein lies the key as well. The person on the otherside, needs to be willing for you to challenge their heart, their emotions and even sometimes their beliefs. This is harder than it seems, when a lot of times their issues resonate so closely with your own heart, you hesitate because you're afraid of what lies within your own heart, a very interesting thing that sometimes catches me be surprise. I also think it takes courage to create an enviornment where someone is going to be so vulnerable with themselves, something that is harder than watching others be vulnerable. I think it takes a rare person to be an active listener and be willing to engage people in the way that usually involves intense emotions. Yet, I am still drawn to it.

I think it's also interesting to see how learning these different techniques can also impact your relationships. I hear "don't psychoanalyze me" a lot sometimes, or I get questions like "are you psychoanalyzing me?" and sometimes it bugs me, mostly because the connotation of the word "psychoanalyze" generally refers to Freud and his questionable, and I mean, questionable, psychological theories and techniques. And, also I'm not always thinking like a psychologist. However, as I'm sure my sister Larissa can sympathize with, sometimes it's difficult for those of us who live with someone with a psychological mind, because we can generally sense where an argument is coming from or when someone's upset, or like I said, the "meta-message". Scott has told me before that he's waited to discuss something with me because he knows I'll be able to peg it and sometimes he's not ready for my answer. But I guess that's where you have to understand and be compassionate towards everyone's limits of communication and listening skills. I also know that by no means am I an expert or immune to not listening or being angry and stubborn when I'm trying to "communicate." However, I think it just adds to your listening skills and other faculties if you are able to genuinely listen to someone and help them process through something that may be painful or hard to discuss.

Anyway, I think I've blabbed long enough on this topic. I hope it was somewhat enlightening, but I'll probably have to go back and do some editing and re-post it eventually, but I think it works for now.