Why Can't They All be Like Richard Gere?

Well, it's been almost 2 weeks since we last blogged, and I've been busy with school and such, but I've recently been thinking about some interesting things, that all tie into one another. At least in my head. This might bring you to wonder at the curious title I put for this blog, but eventually (I hope) it will all make sense.

As many of you read on our blog recently, my sister and her family just welcomed a new baby girl. We were all very excited, especially their family, to welcome this new little person. My sister Larissa, just posted some thoughts on children herself, from the perspective of a mother, and I've found myself drawn by similar thoughts as I begin to contemplate starting a family of my own.

The blessings to be found in children, I think are unique and special. They are full of so many challenges, surprises and so full of growth and daily expansion, sometimes it's hard to feel like you're keeping up. I know when I went to visit my sister, I was overwhelemed with joy by these little people. Consumed with love, sometimes full of frustration, and of course accompained by a generous dose of tiredness. But would you change it for anything? No. I think the miracle of children is one of the most precious blessings that can be bestowed upon us, and I think it takes patience of the heart and spirit to always be there for your children, even when they've grown.

Now I'm sure you're thinking, "What does all this have to do with Richard Gere?" Well, let me try and explain. While watching the end of Pretty Woman on television the other night, I couldn't help but think of what a dream-boat Richard Gere is in this film. Now before you jump all over me for crushing, slightly, on Mr. Gere, I'll explain. While watching the closing scenes in one of my favorite films, I got to thinking about how much our sense of the "right kind of man" or the most "special kind of man" is influence by the men we see on film or read about in books. Men, that cannot possibly approach a sense of reality at times, yet we still find ourselves yearning for the type of undying devotion, surrendering of will, and utter romanticism. Not that I would consider these films bad influences, or even many of the books I read as unfair representations of what a relationship is between a man and a woman, but I also thought of how fine the line is between fantasy and reality, especially when it's such a part of our culture.

What girl doesn't sigh when Richard Gere gets that dreamy-eyed brooding look, when he begs Julia Roberts to stay with him? What girl doesn't want a man to chase after until the end of the earth, just to proclaim his undying love and devotion for her? What does it say about us women that we grow to expect some of these behaviors, and then struggle with disappointment when "it doesn't happen like it does in the movies?" I would never say that my life is like a fairy tale, but I guess watching Pretty Woman the other night just made me think of this enigma surrounding relationships.

It's also interesting to me that those films and books about real relationships aren't always the biggest money makers, the best selling novels, or even the films and books that people enjoy. They're usually followed by comments like "It was really sad, it made me cry." Or other comments like that. It's no surprise that when this is what we have to compare, "real relationships" pale in comparison to their fantasy counterparts. Who doesn't crave participation is a good fantasy?

Personally, I think real relationships, with all their hardships, difficulties and struggles are so much more meaningfull than something generated out of pure fantasy. I think it's about making your own fantasies, and setting time aside to fulfill each others dreams, even if its something small and insignificant.

Now back to how this relates to children. Thinking about Richard Gere, made me think about how I would want my children to see relationships. I would want their expectations to be real and concrete, but also meaningful to them. I would not want them yearning for some impossible ideal. I would want their happiness above all else, but I wouldn't want them to be unsatisfied in their relationship simply because it falls outside of what they think the "parameters" are.

But I think I've been on my soap box long enough. Suffice to say, I'm happy and contented in my relationship, even though he's not Richard Gere. :)