Because I haven't blogged in awhile....

....and because I don't really want to study for the midterm I have tomorrow, I thought I'd write a blog.

Recently you guys have been able to see the many feats of our dog Apollo. We're always intrigued by what he's willing to do for a treat, and we're glad to share them with everyone.

I've been pretty busy myself these days between work, school, wedding planning, more school, trying to sleep and eat on a regular basis and still nurture myself and my relationship it's been a hectic few months.

While Scott and I were lucky to get most of the wedding details squared away before I went back to school, I find that the deadlines I had so carefully set back in July and August are slowly creeping up on me. Right now I'm in the middle of midterms, papers and projects and up to my eyeballs in the group process, I'm finding it a little hard to keep up with and find time for all those little details. Oh, and there's this gigantic Master's Project I'm supposed to be working on too. Yeah, totally need to get on the ball for that one.

I am however, blessed to have the amazing support of my family, especially my mom, and my best friend Jessica who are oh-so-wonderfully planning my bridal shower in Southern California. I am also amazed at the constant patience and support that Scott shows me in so many different ways as he also "suffers" through the trails of graduate school with me. Just this evening as I was working on my 3rd and hopefully final genogram, he looked over at me and said "You're doing another one? You've done like 3 since we've been together! I'm glad I'm not in school anymore." Yet he still puts up with me and all my conjecturing about Family Systems Theory, Families of Origin, and all those other theoretical, therapeutic and psychological things I'm learning and immersing myself in.

It's interesting to be involved in a program that encourages self-exploration, family history and research and patterns of behavior among many many many more things. But it is interesting to be given the opportunity to really take 2 years out of your life and study yourself. I think of the multitude of things I've learned and have yet to learn, the people I've had the opportunity to influence and who have also influenced me, and I can only think that I am truly blessed to be on the path that I'm on.

Just today in one of my classes we were talking about Tao Fa or Chinese watercourse way. It's a Cross-Cultural Counseling Class (what an alliteration!), and it talks about rivers being on a journey to the ocean, and that they change everything they touch. That in the course of the river flowing, everything it touches is changed and altered. As I pondered this concept, metaphor really, I thought of myself as the Earth and all the people in my life that are rivers. There is my mother, who is the strongest, deepest and widest river crossing my landscape. A silent, everpresent force that's been guiding me and shaping me. There's Joe, my dad, who's a little less deep, but just as constant, but with a few more rapids and turns. And then there's Scott, who enters about halfway down the landscape, and has carved the deepest pools, has travelled the most curves and is full of the waterfalls that fill my heart. Before I go on and on about different people in my life, I just don't have the room to list them all, I just want to add that water is such a significant metaphor for anyone really. Sometimes we have rain in our lives, storms that seem like they never will pass. Sometimes we have lazy turning rivers and streams that allows us to meander at our own pace, but we also have the water that fills us with Life, that causes our cup to runneth over and fill our hearts with joy.

I just thought that those were some beautiful thoughts and images that I had on this fine Monday evening, and wished to impart them all to you! Maybe I'll start a regular Monday blog with my thoughts from my cultural musings from class.

Why Can't They All be Like Richard Gere?

Well, it's been almost 2 weeks since we last blogged, and I've been busy with school and such, but I've recently been thinking about some interesting things, that all tie into one another. At least in my head. This might bring you to wonder at the curious title I put for this blog, but eventually (I hope) it will all make sense.

As many of you read on our blog recently, my sister and her family just welcomed a new baby girl. We were all very excited, especially their family, to welcome this new little person. My sister Larissa, just posted some thoughts on children herself, from the perspective of a mother, and I've found myself drawn by similar thoughts as I begin to contemplate starting a family of my own.

The blessings to be found in children, I think are unique and special. They are full of so many challenges, surprises and so full of growth and daily expansion, sometimes it's hard to feel like you're keeping up. I know when I went to visit my sister, I was overwhelemed with joy by these little people. Consumed with love, sometimes full of frustration, and of course accompained by a generous dose of tiredness. But would you change it for anything? No. I think the miracle of children is one of the most precious blessings that can be bestowed upon us, and I think it takes patience of the heart and spirit to always be there for your children, even when they've grown.

Now I'm sure you're thinking, "What does all this have to do with Richard Gere?" Well, let me try and explain. While watching the end of Pretty Woman on television the other night, I couldn't help but think of what a dream-boat Richard Gere is in this film. Now before you jump all over me for crushing, slightly, on Mr. Gere, I'll explain. While watching the closing scenes in one of my favorite films, I got to thinking about how much our sense of the "right kind of man" or the most "special kind of man" is influence by the men we see on film or read about in books. Men, that cannot possibly approach a sense of reality at times, yet we still find ourselves yearning for the type of undying devotion, surrendering of will, and utter romanticism. Not that I would consider these films bad influences, or even many of the books I read as unfair representations of what a relationship is between a man and a woman, but I also thought of how fine the line is between fantasy and reality, especially when it's such a part of our culture.

What girl doesn't sigh when Richard Gere gets that dreamy-eyed brooding look, when he begs Julia Roberts to stay with him? What girl doesn't want a man to chase after until the end of the earth, just to proclaim his undying love and devotion for her? What does it say about us women that we grow to expect some of these behaviors, and then struggle with disappointment when "it doesn't happen like it does in the movies?" I would never say that my life is like a fairy tale, but I guess watching Pretty Woman the other night just made me think of this enigma surrounding relationships.

It's also interesting to me that those films and books about real relationships aren't always the biggest money makers, the best selling novels, or even the films and books that people enjoy. They're usually followed by comments like "It was really sad, it made me cry." Or other comments like that. It's no surprise that when this is what we have to compare, "real relationships" pale in comparison to their fantasy counterparts. Who doesn't crave participation is a good fantasy?

Personally, I think real relationships, with all their hardships, difficulties and struggles are so much more meaningfull than something generated out of pure fantasy. I think it's about making your own fantasies, and setting time aside to fulfill each others dreams, even if its something small and insignificant.

Now back to how this relates to children. Thinking about Richard Gere, made me think about how I would want my children to see relationships. I would want their expectations to be real and concrete, but also meaningful to them. I would not want them yearning for some impossible ideal. I would want their happiness above all else, but I wouldn't want them to be unsatisfied in their relationship simply because it falls outside of what they think the "parameters" are.

But I think I've been on my soap box long enough. Suffice to say, I'm happy and contented in my relationship, even though he's not Richard Gere. :)

More about the wedding....well marriage really.

Since I probably won't have as much time to talk about the wedding in the next few months, (I'm sure there are a few of you reading and starting to chuckle already if you know me) I thought I would spend some more time talking about our wedding and I guess marriage in general.

As the start of school comes closer and closer, I cannot help but think about how quickly the next few months are going to fly by. I have to confess, it is starting to make me a little nervous. Not that the planning process hasn't been fun and exciting, but when I sit back and think, wow, I'm going to me married this time next year. Married. It sort of blows me away. While I have great examples around me, Scott's parents, my mom and step-dad, my sister Larissa and her husband, its just a little awe-inspiring to think of yourself at the cusp of a major life change and wonder how you're going to handle it. Especially marriage. No one wants to fail, struggle at, be stressed out all the time, during the most important, intimate and special relationship between two people. I am thankful that Scott and I are both easy going, laid back people, who don't anger easily and are generally pretty good at communicating with one another. But even now, we both can see how difficult it is to constantly be putting one another first in each of our lives, and remembering that we aren't number one anymore. I think being that selfless is a struggle for any human being, given the nature of the human condition, but I think it becomes especially hard when you are considering someone else's wants, needs, hopes, dreams, and struggles first and foremost above your own.

My sister, Larissa, wrote a great blog on this the other day, specifically about humility, that really touched my heart and convicted me in my thoughts about who I am putting first in my life. When I think about the future, my heart is so excited for the things I will share with Scott and the things I will know, yet it is a little overwhelming when you start adding all the ingredients into the recipe, (i.e. kids, houses, pets, careers, etc.)

All in all, even considering nerves, stress, worries about fitting in my dress, are all overshadowed by the thought that in June I will get to stand up next to the man I love and declare my love for him and become his wife. I think that's definitely a future worth looking forward to.

I would of course welcome any and all advice or suggestions regarding marriage, I will only be a novice after all.