Butterflies

Well, as some of you may be aware, the wedding date is slowly creeping towards us.

There are only 230 days left until the BIG day and as I look ahead on my calendar at all the things I've yet to do and get done, I find myself starting to get a little more than nervous. Some of you might think that's crazy, since it is 230 days away, and how could I possibly be nervous with the date so far away.

What I would say to those people is, "I have every right to be nervous! I'm getting married!" That's only like one of the biggest commitments you will ever share with another human being! In 230 days I will join my life with someone else's and no longer be just one, but always a part of two. Even though I look forward to that day with all the anticipation and excitement, I think it's normal to be nervous because that commitment is a serious one, and definitely is not something to be taken lightly.

We'll be starting pre-marital counseling soon, and I think having everything start falling into place is making me more and more nervous about the moment I will walk down the aisle as a bride and say "I do" to the most important man in my life.

Because I haven't blogged in awhile....

....and because I don't really want to study for the midterm I have tomorrow, I thought I'd write a blog.

Recently you guys have been able to see the many feats of our dog Apollo. We're always intrigued by what he's willing to do for a treat, and we're glad to share them with everyone.

I've been pretty busy myself these days between work, school, wedding planning, more school, trying to sleep and eat on a regular basis and still nurture myself and my relationship it's been a hectic few months.

While Scott and I were lucky to get most of the wedding details squared away before I went back to school, I find that the deadlines I had so carefully set back in July and August are slowly creeping up on me. Right now I'm in the middle of midterms, papers and projects and up to my eyeballs in the group process, I'm finding it a little hard to keep up with and find time for all those little details. Oh, and there's this gigantic Master's Project I'm supposed to be working on too. Yeah, totally need to get on the ball for that one.

I am however, blessed to have the amazing support of my family, especially my mom, and my best friend Jessica who are oh-so-wonderfully planning my bridal shower in Southern California. I am also amazed at the constant patience and support that Scott shows me in so many different ways as he also "suffers" through the trails of graduate school with me. Just this evening as I was working on my 3rd and hopefully final genogram, he looked over at me and said "You're doing another one? You've done like 3 since we've been together! I'm glad I'm not in school anymore." Yet he still puts up with me and all my conjecturing about Family Systems Theory, Families of Origin, and all those other theoretical, therapeutic and psychological things I'm learning and immersing myself in.

It's interesting to be involved in a program that encourages self-exploration, family history and research and patterns of behavior among many many many more things. But it is interesting to be given the opportunity to really take 2 years out of your life and study yourself. I think of the multitude of things I've learned and have yet to learn, the people I've had the opportunity to influence and who have also influenced me, and I can only think that I am truly blessed to be on the path that I'm on.

Just today in one of my classes we were talking about Tao Fa or Chinese watercourse way. It's a Cross-Cultural Counseling Class (what an alliteration!), and it talks about rivers being on a journey to the ocean, and that they change everything they touch. That in the course of the river flowing, everything it touches is changed and altered. As I pondered this concept, metaphor really, I thought of myself as the Earth and all the people in my life that are rivers. There is my mother, who is the strongest, deepest and widest river crossing my landscape. A silent, everpresent force that's been guiding me and shaping me. There's Joe, my dad, who's a little less deep, but just as constant, but with a few more rapids and turns. And then there's Scott, who enters about halfway down the landscape, and has carved the deepest pools, has travelled the most curves and is full of the waterfalls that fill my heart. Before I go on and on about different people in my life, I just don't have the room to list them all, I just want to add that water is such a significant metaphor for anyone really. Sometimes we have rain in our lives, storms that seem like they never will pass. Sometimes we have lazy turning rivers and streams that allows us to meander at our own pace, but we also have the water that fills us with Life, that causes our cup to runneth over and fill our hearts with joy.

I just thought that those were some beautiful thoughts and images that I had on this fine Monday evening, and wished to impart them all to you! Maybe I'll start a regular Monday blog with my thoughts from my cultural musings from class.

Apollo's new trick

Dogs are so much fun. :)

Exhaustion

As I sit at work trying to stay awake, I thought I'd give a quick recap of the weekend events that made me so tired.

Friday - After a full day of work, some last minute scrambling and preparation we (Jenn, Jeremy, Kim and I) took off for Sleep Train Amphitheater in Marysville to see Cheap Trick, Heart and Journey. We arrived at around 7:30 and heard the last few songs of Cheap Trick's set as we were driving in and walking towards the venue. After cruising through what can only be described as the most pathetic bag check ever we made our way to the general admission lawn seats. Kim and I have both been to concerts here before, but we both agreed that this was the largest crowd we had ever seen. Normally you can bring a blanket and spread out a bit. Not this time, it was standing room only and we were packed in tight.

As for the show, Heart put on a great set with most of their classics and a killer rendition of The Who's Reign O'er Me. Ann Wilson can still belt out the vocals. Then it was time for Journey. They played a good mix of new and old stuff, although they definitely got a better response from the crowd with their older songs. Their new Korean lead singer impressed us all. I have some video of "Don't Stop Believin" that I may try and post later.

We had a great time despite the large crowd and the inevitable annoying people who end up right next to you.

Saturday - So after getting home from the concert at around 12:30 - 1:00 in the morning it was straight to bed so that I could get up at 7:30 to prepare for my triathlon. More of a mini triathlon, but you can still be impressed. Every year Becky (a college friend of mine who lives in nearby Los Molinos) hosts a "triathlon" on her birthday. Its a family and friends event, nothing too official but fun nonetheless. Every year for the past 5 years I have been invited, and every year I have managed to find an excuse to not go. This year however I felt up to the challenge.

Becky's family has some orchards near the Sacramento River. So our mini triathlon consisted of approximately 1/2 mile run from her parents house to the river, followed by a short 100 yard or so swim, another 1/2 mile run from the river back to the house where we left our bikes, and finally a 12 mile bike ride. Of the 4 legs the hardest part was most definitely the 1/2 mile run after the swim. I'm not in the best shape of my life, but I'm in good enough condition to handle a few mile jog, swimming however really took it out of me. I realized I am NOT in swimming shape. Once I made it to the bikes though I was able to enjoy the bike ride through the orchards. It was a beautiful day thankfully. As for the results I finished in 6th place out of about 15 people with a time of 1 hour, 25 minutes and 44 seconds. I'm confident that with smaller rests between stations and a better bike I could shave at least 10 minutes off that time. That will be the goal for next year. Anyway once everyone finished it was BBQ time. All in all it was a great time.

However, needless to say by Saturday afternoon I was physically exhausted and quite sore (again I think I need a new bike). I spent the rest of the day cleaning up around the house and relaxing. After picking Jenn and her friends up from their girls night out at around 1:00 in the morning it was time for some much needed sleep.

Sunday - Ah yes the always exhausting football day. Ok, yesterday was neither tiring nor demanding. It was just what I needed. A full day of couch time watching football games at Nick's apartment. I'd like to use this chance to say GO BUFFALO BILLS! 4-0! Its been a long time (over a decade) since Buffalo has been a team of relevance. With a soft schedule and the Tom Brady-less Patriots, this could be the year that Buffalo takes their division.

Anyway, back to work today and softball game tonight. No rest for the weary!

Why My Girls are "de bomb!"

It has recently occurred to me that I am very lucky to have the girlfriends that I do.

Let me start with a little backstory.

My choice to attend Chico State happened at a pretty tumultuous time in my life. I really needed a change of pace, a change of friends and a change of scenery. While I still maintained close friendships with a few of my pals from Southern California. I began to forge some new friendships while at Chico. I went through the "normal" ups and downs of roommate drama, friend drama and other drama, and ended up making more friends at work than I did while at school.

But all was not lost for little ol' Jenn. When I entered the Master's Program at Chico State I was not expecting to make the types of frienships and bonds with 4 girls that I happened to meet at Chico State.

So this is a shout out to my gal-pals Katie, Meghan, Andrie and Shalea, who are the best and most special girlfriends I could ask for!

From Left to Right. Andrie, Katie, Meghan and Me!

**Shalea not pictured.

Why Can't They All be Like Richard Gere?

Well, it's been almost 2 weeks since we last blogged, and I've been busy with school and such, but I've recently been thinking about some interesting things, that all tie into one another. At least in my head. This might bring you to wonder at the curious title I put for this blog, but eventually (I hope) it will all make sense.

As many of you read on our blog recently, my sister and her family just welcomed a new baby girl. We were all very excited, especially their family, to welcome this new little person. My sister Larissa, just posted some thoughts on children herself, from the perspective of a mother, and I've found myself drawn by similar thoughts as I begin to contemplate starting a family of my own.

The blessings to be found in children, I think are unique and special. They are full of so many challenges, surprises and so full of growth and daily expansion, sometimes it's hard to feel like you're keeping up. I know when I went to visit my sister, I was overwhelemed with joy by these little people. Consumed with love, sometimes full of frustration, and of course accompained by a generous dose of tiredness. But would you change it for anything? No. I think the miracle of children is one of the most precious blessings that can be bestowed upon us, and I think it takes patience of the heart and spirit to always be there for your children, even when they've grown.

Now I'm sure you're thinking, "What does all this have to do with Richard Gere?" Well, let me try and explain. While watching the end of Pretty Woman on television the other night, I couldn't help but think of what a dream-boat Richard Gere is in this film. Now before you jump all over me for crushing, slightly, on Mr. Gere, I'll explain. While watching the closing scenes in one of my favorite films, I got to thinking about how much our sense of the "right kind of man" or the most "special kind of man" is influence by the men we see on film or read about in books. Men, that cannot possibly approach a sense of reality at times, yet we still find ourselves yearning for the type of undying devotion, surrendering of will, and utter romanticism. Not that I would consider these films bad influences, or even many of the books I read as unfair representations of what a relationship is between a man and a woman, but I also thought of how fine the line is between fantasy and reality, especially when it's such a part of our culture.

What girl doesn't sigh when Richard Gere gets that dreamy-eyed brooding look, when he begs Julia Roberts to stay with him? What girl doesn't want a man to chase after until the end of the earth, just to proclaim his undying love and devotion for her? What does it say about us women that we grow to expect some of these behaviors, and then struggle with disappointment when "it doesn't happen like it does in the movies?" I would never say that my life is like a fairy tale, but I guess watching Pretty Woman the other night just made me think of this enigma surrounding relationships.

It's also interesting to me that those films and books about real relationships aren't always the biggest money makers, the best selling novels, or even the films and books that people enjoy. They're usually followed by comments like "It was really sad, it made me cry." Or other comments like that. It's no surprise that when this is what we have to compare, "real relationships" pale in comparison to their fantasy counterparts. Who doesn't crave participation is a good fantasy?

Personally, I think real relationships, with all their hardships, difficulties and struggles are so much more meaningfull than something generated out of pure fantasy. I think it's about making your own fantasies, and setting time aside to fulfill each others dreams, even if its something small and insignificant.

Now back to how this relates to children. Thinking about Richard Gere, made me think about how I would want my children to see relationships. I would want their expectations to be real and concrete, but also meaningful to them. I would not want them yearning for some impossible ideal. I would want their happiness above all else, but I wouldn't want them to be unsatisfied in their relationship simply because it falls outside of what they think the "parameters" are.

But I think I've been on my soap box long enough. Suffice to say, I'm happy and contented in my relationship, even though he's not Richard Gere. :)

Wunderhund

Some videos of the amazing feats of Apollo.

He can Dance!

He can Catch!

He can even Walk!

Yeah thats about all.