Butterflies

Well, as some of you may be aware, the wedding date is slowly creeping towards us.

There are only 230 days left until the BIG day and as I look ahead on my calendar at all the things I've yet to do and get done, I find myself starting to get a little more than nervous. Some of you might think that's crazy, since it is 230 days away, and how could I possibly be nervous with the date so far away.

What I would say to those people is, "I have every right to be nervous! I'm getting married!" That's only like one of the biggest commitments you will ever share with another human being! In 230 days I will join my life with someone else's and no longer be just one, but always a part of two. Even though I look forward to that day with all the anticipation and excitement, I think it's normal to be nervous because that commitment is a serious one, and definitely is not something to be taken lightly.

We'll be starting pre-marital counseling soon, and I think having everything start falling into place is making me more and more nervous about the moment I will walk down the aisle as a bride and say "I do" to the most important man in my life.

More about the wedding....well marriage really.

Since I probably won't have as much time to talk about the wedding in the next few months, (I'm sure there are a few of you reading and starting to chuckle already if you know me) I thought I would spend some more time talking about our wedding and I guess marriage in general.

As the start of school comes closer and closer, I cannot help but think about how quickly the next few months are going to fly by. I have to confess, it is starting to make me a little nervous. Not that the planning process hasn't been fun and exciting, but when I sit back and think, wow, I'm going to me married this time next year. Married. It sort of blows me away. While I have great examples around me, Scott's parents, my mom and step-dad, my sister Larissa and her husband, its just a little awe-inspiring to think of yourself at the cusp of a major life change and wonder how you're going to handle it. Especially marriage. No one wants to fail, struggle at, be stressed out all the time, during the most important, intimate and special relationship between two people. I am thankful that Scott and I are both easy going, laid back people, who don't anger easily and are generally pretty good at communicating with one another. But even now, we both can see how difficult it is to constantly be putting one another first in each of our lives, and remembering that we aren't number one anymore. I think being that selfless is a struggle for any human being, given the nature of the human condition, but I think it becomes especially hard when you are considering someone else's wants, needs, hopes, dreams, and struggles first and foremost above your own.

My sister, Larissa, wrote a great blog on this the other day, specifically about humility, that really touched my heart and convicted me in my thoughts about who I am putting first in my life. When I think about the future, my heart is so excited for the things I will share with Scott and the things I will know, yet it is a little overwhelming when you start adding all the ingredients into the recipe, (i.e. kids, houses, pets, careers, etc.)

All in all, even considering nerves, stress, worries about fitting in my dress, are all overshadowed by the thought that in June I will get to stand up next to the man I love and declare my love for him and become his wife. I think that's definitely a future worth looking forward to.

I would of course welcome any and all advice or suggestions regarding marriage, I will only be a novice after all.