Je t'aime...

As January becomes more than half old, I am forced to think of everythin but school and wedding details that have occupied my mind for the last two weeks. Now that Christmas and New Year's are over and my life has returned to some semblance of order, I find myself drawn to blog about the things I love about life. Some may be artistic and poignant, and others may be complete nonsense. Either way, they keep me from going insane.

1-- Art. What is not to love about art? I think you have to have an appreciation for the rich history that art represents as well as the mutlitude of emotions that it can elicit.

Monet's "Water Lilies". Is there a more classic piece of art than Monet's collection of impressionist paintings from Giverny? The use of light and color make paintings like this come to life. You can almost see the lilies moving on the water.

"Christina's World" by Wyeth. Is she looking towards or away from something? How accurately has he captured the pure starkness of the midwest and farmland. But also the underlying richness of the earth and the soil and the heritage from that part of the US.

I love that you can look at a painting at different times in your life and have it mean completely different things.

2-- Poetry. How amazing a gift when people can use words to mold and shape the feelings of others. Many of you may not know this, but I have a passion for poetry. I've even been known to pen a few poems in my day. My favorites would definitely have to be Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson and John Donne. But for your reading pleasure, here's a unique "Stofa" creation. Bear in mind that this is the first time I've posted any of my poems for popular reading.

Communication with a kiss,
digression of the human soul.
Feelings torture the pure heart inside.
Pressure of lips touching mine
enticing mixture of saliva
ignites the heat within my breast.
Feel it rage against
the rising tide of my distress.

Reason wars with passion.
Reason armed with sharp edged words
and cunningly disguised manipulating thoughts,
those vines that twist and change the landscape of my heart.
Passion equipped with fire
burns the path that the brain knows to reason.
Two halves of the same whole;
just two lives. Linked at the mouth,
joined by lust.
Transacting bodies, hearts, and minds
bought and sold with love.
Ghostlike forgotten emotions inhabit the mind’s lost reason,
haunting of the heart.

The world traffics in human emotions,
Barters for the feelings of desire and respect;
murky lines between the two
leave me bereft.
The empty shell of my heart
remains.
I can hear you echo off the hollow walls.

Communication with a kiss
jaded thoughts define the human condition.
Cursed with the thought of love
caught in our transactions.

3-- Laughter. Laughter is such a magical thing. I love to laugh! At life, at myself, more often at myself, but always to find some laughter, I think adds light to the bleakness we often find in this world.

When you have beautiful people in your life, I think it makes the whole bit easier.

4-- Family. My family is growing! I love the thought that in less than 6 months I will be welcomed into another family, will be welcoming others into my family, but will also be starting my own family. Families are crazy, insane collections of individuals that you have no ability to chose from, but that you learn to love, laugh, and live with. I love that families grow and continue to renew themselves, that they are not static but dynamic, and that they are always changing.

2008 in Review

As the New Year dawns, we have many things to look forward to in our neck of the woods. However, I thought I would take the time to remember some of the more memorable things that have happened in 2008 since it was a pretty big year for us.

Starting at the beginning of 2008....


January- I started my 2nd semester of the graduate program and was already looking forward to the summer. Scott put an offer in on our first home.

Feburary- We bought a house! We received the keys to our new home on February 21st and Scott and his Dad, Ralph, moved us in lickety-split.

March- We were just beginning to settle ourselves into our new home. We celebrated March by having a housewarming party, and my best friend from so-cal, Jessica, came up to visit and spent the week with us!

April- What didn't happen in April? We got engaged and we got our Pup Apollo. Both events couldn't have been more exciting for either of us!!

May- I finished my first year in the graduate program!

June- We took a trip to Antelope Lake and to the Redwoods. It was Apollo's first venture into the wild outdoors, and both camping trips were full of fun and friends!

July- Scott's sister Sandi, came up to Chico and spent the 4th of July with us. We had a great time at Buck's Lake, CA playing on the water and relaxing in the sun. My sister Michele and my nephew Johnathan were also able to make it down for the holiday as well as my younger sister Marina! I know, my family is confusing!

August- Time to get ready for school start again! I entered my 2nd year of the graduate program, moving me closer and closer to graduation. Petra, my niece also arrived and I got to visit my sister Larissa and her family in Missouri!

September- I don't remember too much about Sepetember, but there were a lot of birthdays! Justin was born on the 15th, my brother in law Will turned the big 3-0, and my nephew Kace turned 3!

October- October brought midterms and Halloween. This year I dressed up as Elvis, and let me just say that it was the first and last time I'll ever wear a jumpsuit.

November- Sandi and her new beau Cristo came up to Chico and spent the Thanksgiving holiday with us. We had a blast cooking, and celebrating this time of year with them! Apollo loved the turkey too. He sniffed at the oven a lot.

December- The holiday season was in full swing, and both of our families converged on my parent's home in Southern California to celebrate this precious time of year. I also celebrated my 24th birthday at Disneyland.

All in all it was a great year, and we're both lookin forward to the fun and frivolities of 2009!

Happy New Year Everyone!

It's OVER!!!

As of Thursday, December 18th at 1:00pm I was officially done with my second to last semester of work in the Graduate Program. I wrapped up finals, with fingers crossed hoping for the best of the best in grades, and I am finally free.

I say "free" loosely because there is this HUGE Master's Project I need to keep working on, but for this moment I'm enjyoing the sense of bliss and enjoyment that feeling free brings.

So HOORAY for me, in finishing the semester and coming even closer to the completion of my Master's Degree.

A Thankful Heart

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. While I sit at our dining room table, and think about what will need to be done tomorrow to prepare for this annual day devoted to giving thanks, I thought about the multitude of things that I have to be thankful for.

For most anyone, this is not a new concept, and generally Thanksgiving brings on thoughts of sentimental awareness of all the things in our lives we take for granted the other 364 days of the year. I started thinking about what it may take to have a thankful heart and a thankful spirit every day of the year. Often, I think it is easier to reach for anger, blame, frustration, annoyance, irritation, or ego-boosting, rather than be humble and have humility for the many things we have in our lives. I confess, that I am often the person that reaches for anger, or frustration, rather than taking the time to calm myself and feel something more genuine or Spirit-like in those moments. This year, with all the things that are going on in the world, and in my little corner of the universe I was one again struck by my fallible nature, and how I would rather give myself grace than someone else. How terrible is it, that as humans our first instinct is to provide for ourselves first and tout our own hardships and the things we have been able to overcome, but criticize and judge someone else's struggle and wonder why they aren't doing it faster or better?

I think my goal for this year, and the years to come, will be to start offering grace more freely, and giving thanks every day for all the things that I have, and that I may have. I realize what a challenge lies ahead of me, but how rich will my reward be, when I can say I've tried, and succeeded in showing others love, grace, compassion, caring, gentleness, and that I've been able to humble myself and offer thanks for the blessings I have received.

This year, I am thankful for many things. My family, for one. We have been richly blessed this year, with two special new faces and spirits, but also for the family I am building now, in this moment. The foundation blocks that we are laying together will be the support that our family will rest the burdens of it's furture generations on. I am thankful for my family's enduring spirit of kindness and support, and their sense of humor.

I am thankful for my dog, Apollo, even as he lays on the carpet and grunts in his sleep, I am thankful for his devoted spirit and his love of life and the simple way he inspires me to care more deeply for something other than myself.

I am thankful for the homes that I have. The shelter that they provide for my spirit and my heart, and the encouragement and welcome I feel whenever I walk through the door. I am thankful for the memories I have of my homes, in Chico, and in Rancho Cucamonga, because it is the memories that we cherish and nurture. It's also where many funny things have happened that have provided many fun stories to share! :)

I am thankful for Scott. He is so many things, things he's not even aware that he does, but he is everything for me. I am thankful that I have someone, at least on this earth, who is willing to be my everything.

And lastly, I am thankful for TURKEY! How can you have a thankful heart, without sharing it over some delicious turkey this year!! I will miss my sister Larissa fighting her son Kace for the turkey leg, but I think it will be wonderful holiday and I'm thankful for the blessings of the food that we will have this year, and how it always feels like the holidays when turkey is cooking.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!

Another reason why I love Chico

(Chico State Campus, View of Kendall Hall & Time Capsule Square)

There were several reasons why I decided to attend Chico State way back when I was deciding what to do with my life as an 18 year old high school graduate. I had scouted schools in Texas and Northern California, ultimately I was accepted to two Northern California schools, St. Mary's in Moraga, and Chico State. Here I faced a tough decision, because I was in LOVE with St. Mary's campus and school programs and proximity to San Francisco, but the 30K a year really put a damper on my plans for the future. Thus, I found myself attending Chico State in the Fall after graduation, with grand plans to complete my Bachelor's in Psychology in 4 years.

(Bidwell Park)

Growing up in Southern California for the better part of my life, I had somewhat forgotten what the change of seasons can be like and how spectacular the experience can be. In Alaska, all four seasons are wonderful, with so many colors and life just exploring in the Spring and Summer, but the winter provides some of the most spectacular views of nature and wildlife. When we moved to Southern California, I was treated to a different change of seasons. As we like to say, "Southern California has 4 seasons, 2 summers and 2 winters." Meaning that sometimes summer stretches into October, but sometimes around Christmas it can be as warm as 80 degrees. The leaves decide one day to fall off the trees and the Santa Ana's usually signal the change of seasons in the fall and in the spring. Suffice to say, I was looking forward to my first Northern California autumn, and boy was I in for a treat.

(Bidwell Park)

Chico is a beautiful city. It is full of history, art and culture and is surrounded by some of the most beautiful wilderness and nature areas that I have ever seen. Bidwell park is absolutely gorgeous and full of interesting plants and trees. Chico State campus is absolutely gorgeous in the fall and the spring, when the leaves literally rain down from the trees creating the most unique of autumnal showers. The winters are rainy and cold, but once again in the spring we are treated to such an explosion of life that it renews the spirit and the heart seeing so many things blossom and grow.

I pulled all these photos off of the internet and it illustrates perfectly how absolutely gorgeous Chico is this time of year. It's one of the rare times of the year I don't miss the beach or Disneyland quite as much as I do when it's 115 degrees outside with 80% humidity. Although Scott and Larissa would say, "You think this is humid? Try living in the Midwest!"

Enjoy the photos and my own slice of autumnal heaven!

The Mystery Has Been Solved

The German Shorthair... Apollo...

You be the judge...

Apollo. Our dearly loved little pup, has been a mystery to us ever since we picked him up from the shelter.

He's about 9 months old now, and he's changed a lot since he's been growing up. We first believed that he was a Black Lab, with a possible mix. The vet then told us that he looked more Great Dane than Black Lab, which was no less reassuring.

Speculation then grew as a number of people began to identify Apollo as an English Pointer. This was slightly more relieving as we were not necessarily looking forward to having a big Great Dane mix lumbering around the house. Thus, we arrived at the conclusion that Apollo must be a Black Lab-English Pointer mix.

However, the plot thickened. While I was at the mall with some girlfriends, we passed the yearly holiday Christmas display and were soon "ooh-ing" and "ahh-ing" over all the cute puppy pictures of Pugs, Bull Dogs, Dachunds and other adorbale little guys. My eye then caught a calendar with a dog that looked surprisingly like Apollo. The breed? German Shorthaired Pointers!

I feel confident, after doing some online research, that we've stumbled across the breed that Apollo belongs to and we no longer have to worry about him exceeding some ginormous size dimesions! He's still adorable and lovable and keeps us entertained.

Living with Neighbors

As many of you know, Scott bought a house earlier this spring. We were very excited to be starting this next phase of our lives together, and it was a pretty momentous decision for us, but mostly for Scott. He was the one forking over all the cash and all that after all. We simply fell in love with the house and were very excited when we adopted our puppy Apollo in April on the heels of our engagement.

The neighborhood was one of the main reasons we fell in love with the house. Our home is in a quiet suburb of Chico, close to shopping, schools and my work. The streets are quiet and there are a lot of young families in the neighborhood and we were excited to be "moving up" in the world. It didn't take long for us to realize that some of the parents weren't as aware of their children, since they play in the street while cars drive by, but hey they aren't my kids. We also began to realize that our next door neighbor wasn't particularly fond of having neighbors herself. As young puppy parents, we were pretty diligent about when we would leave Apollo alone, especially at night. However, one evening, both Scott and I were out, we came home to find a lovely note from our neighbor, succinctly warning us that we'd better learn to take better care of our dog, since she doesn't want to have to go into our yard again to quiet him down. That was a bit of a rude awakening for both Scott and I, but we determined to take the high road, and be the better people, by apologizing to our friendly neighbor, but also installing some locks on our side gate. Needless to say, Scott and I smoothed over relations with this neighbor and so far things have been quite cordial from then on.

Recently, we had another neighbor move into the house next door that they've been trying to lease for sometime. We were pleased that the house was finally filled up, but recently we've had a lot of aggravation. They also have a small dog, we think he's relatively young, possibly the same age as Apollo, but he gets left outside all day long from 6 am to 6 pm in the rain, in the heat, and he cries and barks all day long. Apollo has been pretty upset about all of this and has increasingly been tearing up parts of the yard, because I think sometimes he feels bad for this poor puppy, but also because he doesn't like being barked at all day long. Needless to say, we're all a little taxed by having to deal with yet another set of mischeivious neighbors, but I don't like that they are semi-abusing their dog!!

We're still going to try and be friendly. Even though we wonder about the presence of adults and people that are actually responsible. We have vowed not to vandalize their home, no matter how tempting it may be and even though copious amounts of teepee are readily available.